Put yourself aside long enough to help others get ahead, and look out for each other, like they are the most important. Philippians 2.3-4 (translation mine) My church has started sending out daily thoughts to guide our hearts and minds back to God during this time of self-isolation, social-distancing and insecurity of what this will all mean for the future. They're callled 'LOOK UP IN LOCKDOWN' and I don't know who came up with that idea, but I love it. I'm someone who can sometimes feel swallowed up because I'm looking so intently at what's around me, or going over and over again in my head what's within me, and it's all - in my opinion - highly stress inducing.
Last week I was struggling with back pain (let's just say my home is not yet Work-From-Home-ready...), and that along with the constant changes in what we were or weren't allowed to do left me feeling frustrated and easily annoyed. I was sad that I wouldn't be able to see anyone outside of my house, and afraid that it'll last a long time. I tried to busy myself thinking of all these things I could do in my house, but every time I tried to do any of them for any length of time, my back pain got worse. I was at breaking point. And then I read these words in the first instalment of LOOK UP IN LOCKDOWN (and had some solid help (pushing!) from my husband yesterday to do something I enjoyed and which gave joy to others): "...in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others." (Philippians 2.3-4, NIV) This is the picture it produced in my mind. A woman who's put aside the thoughts of herself, the things to do with her appearance, her actions, what others think, what others see. All that is hung up on the fence, while she gets dirty for something all can enjoy. There are many ways we can think highly of others and do things for others. My favourite right now is baking - what's yours? But my favourite part of this verse, when I looked into it, is that where we usually read it as "not looking to your own interests but the interests of others..." - the word in Greek means "not watching out for yourself, but each [watching out for] others". That's what I translated it 'look out for each other'. Who can you be looking out for this week? Those in your house? Those who might not be in a house with anyone right now? People you can message, call, email, check-in with. Look out for each other. God knows we need more of that right now. Stay safe, and take care!
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I (kind of, not really) apologise for the terrible pun... But as you might've seen elsewhere on social media, if you follow either my art Instagram or FB page - I just finished and handed in my dissertation (above)!!! It has been a long journey, with a lot of days in it where I felt I would never make it, a lot more days where I was confident I would and I was simply lost in the joy of researching and writing! But what is it that I've been working almost non-stop on for the last 4 or 5 months?? Well, let me tell you!
My abstract reads: "This dissertation offers an alternative understanding to several of the peaceful vision passages in the Hebrew Bible. Specifically, it addresses: (1) the image of transcendence in the raising of the mountain in Micah 4:1-5 and Isaiah 2:2-5, and how this relates to (or results in) weapons being made into tools; (2) the depiction of peace and security in Isaiah 11:1-9 and 65:17-25, especially prominent in the images of predators with prey; and (3) visions of utopian joy and celebration in Isaiah 35:1-10 and 29:17-24. The works of three metamodern, contemporary artists - David Thorpe, Olafur Eliasson and Paula Doepfner - are used to produce a hermeneutical lens (using the metamodern understanding of utopia, developed by analysing the art works, as a tool with which to read these biblical texts from a particular perspective). This then develops a new interpretation in an attempt to allow the biblical texts to dialogue with a contemporary generation. Thus, a metamodern reading of these visions focuses on the ability of the depictions of a peaceful future in the Hebrew Bible to estrange readers from their present reality in order to be able to critique, through the perspective of the utopia, what in their lives it perceives as negative. Furthermore, the visions as utopias function constructively as well as critically and so they also educate readers’ desires in wanting a better alternative reality. Confronted with ambiguity, violence, hope and a sense of an ‘impossible possibility’ in the passages, metamodern readers continue seeking this better alternative reality while knowing that they will never find it. Being metamodern, these individuals oscillate between knowing utopia is not possible and knowing it is the only way forward. These visionary texts, for a metamodern audience then, lead to confusion and uncertainty, but they also provide much needed hope and an authentic promise of something more to keep striving for." I have loved looking at and reading about the contemporary art and these artists, and analysing how art can help biblical scholars to both access and share meaning in a contemporary way. This allows the Bible to continue to dialogue with contemporary generations and the structures of feeling that surround them. If you are interested in reading my dissertation then get in touch; let me know the purpose for your interest and I'll see what I can do! As always - thanks for reading, and much love! I cracked out the sparkly paints for this one!
In my last post on my experiences with an eating disorder I mentioned how people around me helped me to realise the "lies about the character of God that I had been telling myself." When we go through difficult times, it is then that our implicit views on who God is - and who we are - are tested. They come to light; rear their ugly head, if you will! In a journal of mine, on one of the pages I got to a couple of days ago, it has a quote along the bottom edge of the page that reads: "What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us." ~ A. W. Tozer. And I think it's true! But when our images of God get gradually morphed into something that isn't God - by imperfect metaphors, human imperfections and sometimes unhelpful teaching from the church/Christian media - when we're thrown into the wilderness, we are forced to realise that lie we've been believing and either let it break us, or allow God to challenge it in us. The lie that I had been believing was that I could fail God and ruin it all. That somehow, if I didn't get every step of "God's plan" right, and work out precisely what I needed to do next, and make all the correct decisions; that I would end up separated from God, out on my own, doing nothing and being just a huge disappointment to the God who knew what I could've done... if only I'd got it right! I realised this lie in a recounting of the story of Elijah in 1 Kings 19.1-18. In the story, I saw a fearful Elijah running for his life but feeling there was no point! In his despair he walked all the way to God's mountain, seeking God out, and God asks him why he's there, and Elijah (in a paraphrased way) says, "I failed! I tried and I tried, my hardest! But they won't listen - I failed to bring the people back to you, God! I couldn't do it! And now, NOW - they're just going to kill me too, like they killed all the other prophets! I have achieved nothing! I failed! I'm a failure." And God tells him to go out because God Godself is about to pass by. And there's the great wind, that starts to split the rocks, and the earthquake that shakes the mountain, and the fire the burns and rages. And I could see myself in Elijah's shoes, hiding in that cave, crying my eyes out huddled on the floor, afraid but knowing that THIS is what I deserve! I failed God! I got it wrong! Split ME apart with your great wind; shake ME with your earthquake; burn and rage and consume ME with your fire! I'm a failure. I deserve it. BUT THE LORD WAS NOT IN THE WIND... [OR] THE EARTHQUAKE... [OR] THE FIRE. (1 Kings 19.12) Then came the sound of a still, small voice - a nourishing, strength-giving, gently drawing-unto-itself voice that brought Elijah out of his cave to talk with God. Where God could say to him; 'That's not me!' And God doesn't even address this issue of what Elijah thinks is the damning evidence of his failure. Instead, God responds by re-commissioning Elijah - giving him another mission, another job. In that, I saw a God who didn't see Elijah as a failure but as a man who'd walk all that way, and climb that mountain, just to be close to God because he so desperately wants to serve and love God - and God loved him dearly without that and loved him dearly because of that! And I saw a God who sticks with us; never giving up on us, and knowing exactly what we need, even - and probably especially - when it's not what we think we deserve. So... despite having so many things to tell you all over the summer, and even some time which I might've used for blog writing - my updates about what I was doing in the DR have been few and far between. And now, I am back in England, still trying to adjust back to all the many differences to life here. I may at some point write a blog post more about that in particular, but right now, I'd like to jump back to my last couple of weeks in-country and tell you about what I got up to then! I was in the Dominican Republic for 2 weeks after our final team went home. And in that time, I worked alongside Claire (our country manager) in 2 main jobs: we were creating sponsorship profiles for the children in the school in the village where she works, and we were viewing possible land on which we would like to build a new Nazareth House. On Sunday just gone, I got the chance to preach at my own church in the evening. The evening services are usually quite small, and cosy, and nice; and the lectionary reading was part of John 15. So I extended that reading to look at the whole of John 15 > 'I am the Vine, you are the branches... remain in me and I in you... that my joy will be your joy and your joy may be complete... follow my command... love each other...' etc. etc.! And I talked a little about Sister Mercedes (who I've talked about LOTS on this blog!), and I talked about Claire as well. About how working with her, I have been learning about what it is to remain in Christ, and to see him growing fruits in your life. Claire had spent last year working on the documentation process to legalise a whole community (plus more) of people of Haitian descent to enable them to (1) remain in the country, and (2) be allowed to go to school past grade 8 (into secondary education) and be allowed to work. And that was a HUGE task - Claire was running around finding witnesses, going to various departments and embassies across the country, writing out and translating various documents. And she was SUPER-glad when that was all finished, when the date came which was the cut-off for that process. So then she had a few months, before the teams started in the summer, settling back into what might be the "norm"! She could look at what other projects she wanted to keep going in the village where she works, trying to enable that community to become self-sustainable and to get out of the cycle of remaining in poverty. She, alongside another organisation she partners with, opened a clinic once a week in the village. She's looking at starting an English school, and having educational sessions at the clinic, teaching people how to better care for themselves. And these things on top of supporting the school programme and enabling students to stay in school for longer, particularly through providing transport to high school. And then... around mid-August, the organisation that runs the sponsorship of the school in her village emailed the school director, saying they wanted to close down their operations in the country, and this was their only school there, so they would not be sending any more money. Obviously, this would make it impossible for the school to keep running. So Claire emailed them back, and got them to at least agree to keep sending the money until January, to give her a chance to find another organisation which would take over the sponsorship. And then she started trying to find one which would do just that! She started talking to a couple of organisations, but they wouldn't even consider taking it on, unless all the children had new profiles, as the old ones were really out-dated. Which is why Claire and I spent those 2 weeks desperately interviewing and photographing every child, translating those conversations and creating profiles for the children. And as Claire continued those discussions, it became clear that this job was growing and growing, and that they would like Claire to organise the letter-writing 3 times a year, the translating and the sending, if they are to take on the school with their organisation. And Claire turned to me and said, "God just gives me the next job. The next thing I need to do. Last year was documentation, and now it is this!" I often think about what the job might be that God wants me to do next, or 'in this place' or in my overall future - and it stresses me out sometimes, because I feel like I'm searching for something in particular, like a hidden gem, and if I don't find it, it will be lost forever! But actually, remaining in Christ, and following his command to love as he does - trying to love in every situation, even those who seem unlovable and make it very difficult, and even those who are behind barriers to us and whom it takes effort to love; those hidden by prejudice, social structures, injustice, so on. Remaining in Christ, means that he supplies the work and he grows the fruit. I just need to be willing to see where he will lead me, and to follow in loving obedience in those moments. And it doesn't mean I shouldn't have ideas of what I could do, because all those ideas and plans Claire has for Esperanza (the name of the village) are all great ways that she is working there. But it also means I certainly don't need to worry about what fruit I shall bear - for 'Christ is the Vine, and I am a branch, and if I remain in him and he in I, I will bear much fruit'.
This morning we (the team and Claire and I) were carrying loads of water pipes for the new water system in Severet village over stepping stones through a river and then up a big bumpy hill along where we'd already dug the trenches with the other teams. We had to keep jumping over the trench at times and ducking under the tree branches which lined the sides! Being fairly sturdy on my feet, on the changing terrain, one of my jobs was to stop at any difficult parts (like the river, or crossing the trench, etc.) and guide the team through them. This was all going well, but what we hadn't realised when we set off, was quite how far we were taking them... It took nearly an hour to walk up and down carrying them bit by bit and we didn't take our big, heavy water container full of drinking water with us. So when we finally reached the end, we realised that everyone was getting really thirsty; but we weren't going to walk them all the way back, get water and all the way back up again to fix the pipes together in the trench - they'd have drank it all by the time we got back and be thirsty again! So Alex (one of our translators and all round jack-of-all-trades) and I went trekking through the trees on the hill to find a road, and then walked along the road for about 20 minutes instead. Then we borrowed a moto from the president of the community - Enson - who's been working with us this whole summer, and drove it through the river (!!!) to pick up the water, and then back along the crazy road with Alex on the front, the water in the middle and me on the back holding - desperately - to the water container! It was really big and heavy and took up most of the room! So we had to keep stopping occasionally, as when we went over big bumps the cooler moved and started pulling me off! And when we went up a big hill, I nearly fell right off the back! But Alex stopped just in time for me to get back on and re-adjust where the cooler was! It was simultaneously the scariest and most fun thing I've done all year! :-D Things I've learnt from today:
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AuthorI'm a recent Cambridge Theology graduate now studying for a Masters in Biblical Studies and blogging about all sorts of things! I'm interested in faith, Church, theology, social action, the great outdoors and being creative, and all of those things - along with many more - come through in my posts!
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